When should you make your relationship ‘official’?

In the 1970s dating seemed far less complicated. If you were going out for regular drinks together, it was basically assumed you were in a relationship. Alright that love fest might end the second a younger and better looking model came on the scene, but ‘unofficial’ partnerships were much less common.


It’s hard for women sometimes isn’t it? Come on too strong in the early stages of a relationship and you’ll be branded ‘bunny boiler’ before you’ve added him on Facebook. But wait around doing the ‘casual thing’ for too long and you’re walking a fine line at doormat territory.
1. Don’t bring up the ‘R’ word before your fourth meet up
Whether it’s proper dates or nights out with friends, most men will run a country mile if you mention the ‘r’ word as soon as you meet. Even if there’s obvious chemistry and he really likes you, it’s unwise to move too quickly. If he lets you know he’s keen to take it further that’s great, but there’s no rush.

2. Notice his actions
It’s one thing to wait a few weeks before attributing a ‘label’ to your relationship. But that’s no reason to put up with bad behaviour. If he’s standing you up, cancelling dates or ‘forgetting’ to return phone calls, it’s not good news. Even if he’s throwing around the phrase ‘I really like you’, actions speak much louder than words.
3. Be honest with yourself
During the dating stage you get the chance to find out if you really like this guy. Never jump into a relationship because you ‘just really want a boyfriend’ or you’re lonely. Taking it slowly can help you work out your real feelings so don’t be blinded by romantic gestures in the early stages.
4. Don’t get strung along
After a month of dating, you’ll probably know if you want to carry on seeing him. If you’re ready to call him your boyfriend but he’s holding back, be wary. Having one partner more keen than the other can cause a major relationship imbalance, leaving you at risk of becoming a doormat. Because you’re falling for him you’re more likely to allow him to ‘let it be casual’. Don’t hang on and wait. If he can see you care about him but doesn’t respect you enough to either end it or make it official, he’s not worth having. Vice versa if you find yourself dating a man who’s super keen on you and you’re not that interested. Let him go and spare his feelings in the long-term.
5. Listen to your gut
Your instincts are there for a reason and they’re very often right. Whilst it’s a wise idea not to rush your new man, you need to trust your own judgement and pick up on his cues. Some couples are happy to keep it casual for three months, others for only a few dates. As long as you’re both equally happy with the situation, it’s completely up to you.

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